My Goal Was Smashed To Pieces…

I’m sorry, my dearest readers, for not writing in like a month.

The last weeks of school drug me down, I’ve been working a lot, Christmas happened, and I also took a few days to visit Fellow Brony.

Also that annoying WordPress app still isn’t working on my phone to show me my stats, so I’ve been getting frustrated with the entire site again due to the apparent incapability of their app working on my phone.

Life…

My grades were at a 3.18 this semester. It was a really hard semester full of a lot of anxiety, stress, and frustrations. I’m so burnt out on school. I can’t wait to take 13 credits next semester and then graduate.

I’m so over this whole school thing.

For reals.

I’ve been going to school since I was 3. My 21st half birthday was on Christmas. I barely remember anything in my life before I was attending school. All I’ve known is school. It’s time for a change. I need to work and start a life independent of my parents. I need to take Citrus cat and Rave Queen and The Girl Who Calls Me Unibronyguin and maybe LHW and move to the other side of the mountains to the Big City and just get out of here.

I need a change.

I’m frustrated by this town so much that I just can’t even. I literally can’t come up with words for how much I want out of here. It’s an inexpressible feeling I need to get rid of soon.

Don’t get me wrong.

I love my friends here. I love my roommates (most of the time). I love how close I am to Wizard and Warrior and my brother and my parents. I just don’t love here.

The only reason I am here is because this was a guarantee transfer school that would allow me to not worry about my living situation for a few months as well as accept all of my previous credits. It also had a major I happened to be interested in.

I didn’t even decide my major until right before I started classes and realized that I hated business. I dropped two of my three business classes and added General Psychology and Human Growth and Development to my class list.

I’m so glad I did.

I love psychology with a passion.

Sorry this is kind of a rambling blog. This is the most I’ve written thoughts not on one specific topic (i.e. anything I wrote in/for classes) in a month.

I’ve missed writing so much.

It’s been hard for me to not have time to really read or write these last couple of months. I’ve struggled to find escapes from reality when I need them. I honestly think that’s why my anxiety might be so bad, because I haven’t had much time to read and escape reality for awhile. I’ve been too busy catching up with classwork and then just breathing a sigh of relief now that classes are done. I finished one book this semester. I didn’t even read all of either of the books I had to read for class that’s how busy I was. Reading normally calms me down, but I was so stressed I felt like I didn’t have the time to allow it to do so. How sad is that?

(all the sad, for those of you who want the answer)

Well, I think I am finally out of pressing thoughts to say. At least, I am out of the thoughts I can say here. Rave Queen and Shoes Lover will hopefully be coming over tonight for a friends night, so I’ll talk to them about everything else.

Now playing the slow motion of Citrus cat’s breath while she sleeps near me.

Now drinking water.

Today I am really excited cuz I might be going back to the land that is not silver soon.

Life, love, and the stars above!

God bless!

Love from this *decompressing* girl woman,

~me~

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